The shop has gotten more media luv this summer than a celeb death/ nipple slip combo. One’d think we were selling deep fried vibrating pocket vaginas, dipped in nacho cheese, served on a stick with a side of ranch… by the way these journa-bloggist come around here.
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 (our fave) With two more in progress.
Yarn has been spun, pictures popped, puns abused. Moped culture has been blandly described to your Aunt Tina, at a 5th grade level. But what has been the readership reaction?
100% positive!
Top 5 greatest hates:
5. Hipsterminator wrote:
OK. Kill Me!!! Kill Me NOW!!!!
These gay fucks call themselves “The Orphans”.
These gay fucks ride FUCKING MOPEDS!!!! WTF???
These other gay fucks call themselves “HELL’S SATANS”!!!! HOW FUCKING ORIGINAL???!!!
These gay fucks look like Little Orphan Annie could kick their asses and send them running back to Wisconsicolatuckyfuckwad!! OH GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS!!!
4. ParkSlopeIsAYuppieToilet wrote: I ride a 1000cc ADULT bike. I can’t even imagine being a grown man tooling around on one of those inbreds’ put-puts. Fucking embarassing.
3. JN wrote: They ruin everything useful… bikes, mopeds, irony, coffee, alcohol… they take things that can be useful in certain cases, and destroy them, make them ridiculous.
2. Bill wrote:
A Coney Island beat down would be nice.
1. Black Twingle wrote: When someone breaks down ’cause they’re too cool for a fuel filter, you should just shoot them dead and ride on – then use the light of their burning moped to pick a new member from the ravening hordes of prospects that line the route of your triumphant progress. You should be led by James Earl Jones in character as the Snake God from that Conan movie that came out in the 80s.
For the record, we did not destroy coffee, it’s always been hot, disgusting dirt water.
See y’all at The New Yorker comments page in September.
black twingle is coming to your rally.